It was the shopping cart of psychoses.
The mercantile proof of a split personality.
There, amongst the probiotic goat’s milk yogurt, the butter made from grass fed dairy cows, the heirloom organic tomatoes, nestled the offender. You couldn’t help but notice it, emblazoned as it was with its carnival-like label. Jaunty lower case letters in a circus font, blue on white, a yellow badge making a worthless proclamation that the product was gluten free. All of this merriment was capped off with a cherry red lid. Everything about this product screamed, Carnival Coming to Town! It doesn’t even pretend it’s not a party in a jar. Nutrition? That’s for sissies!
It was the shopping cart of psychoses.
So what was hiding in this handcart of virtue?
It was Fluff. And what exactly is Fluff? Marshmallows in a jar.
I’d run into this friend while grocery shopping. She’s a paragon of health and fitness. The sort of person to work a reference to linoleic acid into a casual conversation.
Sheepishly, she acknowledged the smoking gun – the Fluff – murmuring, “A guilty pleasure. Every once in a while ….”,
Her voice trailed off.
I just nodded but inclined my head indicating that she should look into my buggy. Pushing aside a forest of swiss chard, I revealed a package of Kraft Singles.
“This is mine.”
Our eyes locked like gangsters letting the other know that you hadn’t brought a knife to a gun fight.
“In best case scenarios, these bad boys get melted onto white bread in a toaster oven.”
“I’m a Fluffernutter from way back.” she murmured.
I’ve lived out east. I knew what she was talking about.
“You can only take so much kale .…” she sighed.
Guilty pleasures.
We’ve all got ‘em. About once a year I’ll buy a package of these cheese imposters, Kraft Singles, and eat them all in a weekend. It’s a festival of modified milk ingredients along with a fricassee of chemicals and oils. I don’t care. When the craving comes upon me, it can only be satisfied by this melted cheese-food fest.
Guilty pleasures.
Have you ever bought or tasted Fluff? Out east most everybody has. The Fluffernutter sandwich – peanut butter and Fluff – is a mainstay of the lunchbox. In fact, it’s such a regional legend that Massachusetts considered naming the Fluffernutter the state’s official sandwich. Conversely, in
an effort to limit the junk food in school lunches, a Massachusetts’ senator proposed restricting the number of times school cafeterias could serve this juggernaut.
Behold! The legendary Fluffernutter sandwich in all its (regional) glory!
You’d have thought that Fluff would have caught on in Canada, especially as it was invented by a Canadian-born confectioner. Despite being an ancient Arabic recipe that was reinterpreted in 1918, you’ll usually find Fluff only on the top shelves at the grocery store. Seems we Canadians prefer strawberry jam with our peanut butter. As for me, I’ll stick to my annual pilgrimage to the altar of Kraft Singles. And so what? As benders go, there’s way worse ….
This week’s question for readers:
WHAT’S YOUR GUILTY PLEASURE?
Leave your Comments below!
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Submissions to last week’s question:
DO YOU STILL SET A TABLE? WHEN AND HOW?
Yes, I still set the table even if I’m the only one sitting down for the meal. If it’s just my husband and I, I set out only the utensils required for the meal (ie: soup spoon and knife for a meal of soup and bread). I concede to convention when others join us but often forgo the salt cellars, fish knife and oyster fork and limit the stemware to no more than three pieces. We always use cloth napkins, not out of formality, but simply because they are less expensive, are more environmentally friendly and feel softer when gently dabbing the corners of one’s mouth at the conclusion of the meal.
Sandi Bezanson-Chan
Tradition! 58 years ago we inherited the family dining room suite – carved, solid oak table with massive buffet and china cabinet. In our present home, the wall needed to be extended. Yes, every evening meal is always eaten in the dining room. Certain conversation topics are avoided, i.e. politics, money, until the meal is over. Some table manners are relaxed as old bones may need support. Yes, the families still gather and grown grandkids know how to seat ladies at the table and what fork to use and when.
Rosemary Howe
In answer to your question, yes, I do indeed set the table. I don’t set an elaborate table every day, but I do use a placemat every day and set for myself. There’s a sideboard behind the table, in which is housed my ‘good’ china. The good china is used at least a couple of times a year, depending on the colours of my table setting. I’m happy to report that my grandchildren‘s parents are raising their children to eat properly at a table. They have to ask to be excused and they have to wait until people are finished eating, before doing so! These are also children who are not being raised on video games! Like most young families, they don’t eat formally every day, because of the many activities they participate in, but the children do know how to do it. They help with setting the table and they also help with clearing the table.
Gina Challenger
I absolutely love to set a beautiful table for family gatherings. I did it as a child and my first job was in a china shop that sold beautiful tableware. I love to use many family heirlooms and garden flowers. Bring on the meals !
Joan Barrington-Foote
Setting a beautiful table brings me so much pleasure. I have a wide range of tablecloths, cloth napkins, napkin rings, dinnerware, silver and crystal, and can make the table fancy or casual, both indoors and out. I inherited a lot of my items from my mom who also enjoyed a beautiful table. What makes me a bit sad is that as much as my four daughters appreciate having a lovely table set for them, their homes are so small they just don’t have storage space. They have to be spare. Making do with less is not a bad thing! Pass the paper towel napkin.
Barb Paul
I still set the table for special holidays and events, but normally we gather in the kitchen for our “bless this food” prayer and then help ourselves from the food in the pots on the stove and eat together either at the table or in front of the TV.
Kathy Smith
One night when my teenage daughter invited her new boyfriend for dinner, I asked him to set the table. The look he gave me very quickly indicated that he had never set a table. In fact, you would think from the terror on his face that I had asked him to jump out of a plane. So I said, “no worries, I will teach you”.And so began the instruction. Fork on the left of the plate, knife on the right side, blade in, and the spoon nestled next to the knife. The boyfriend learned how to do a basic table setting. And just to make sure of his retention, I had him set the table when he next visited us for dinner. And I’m pleased to report, he set the table successfully. So, one more person in the world who knows how to set a table!
Ronda McLachlan
Yes, I still set a table with china and crystal for family and friend gatherings.
Besides the act of cooking for loved ones, it welcomes their presence at your table.
My six year-old grandgirl is encouraged by her mother to set the table – not always perfect but is perfection required when with the ones you love? Thanksgiving’s table was decorated with felt leaves and little pumpkin’s – magic.
Gwen Ferguson
We still set the table, cloth napkins, place mats, serving dishes, etc. The most memorable occasion was Thanksgiving. The dining room table was lengthened, the turkey adorned the platter, the best serving bowls held all the fixings and we adults sat with our six children that we were so thankful for. After a blessing of Thanksgiving, I reminded the children this was a special meal and an opportunity where we expected them to practice their best manners. Everyone started to giggle and laugh. I looked beside me, there was my two year old sucking her big toe. So much for decorum and manners!
Marg Crosby-Jones
Growing up, we always sat at table with proper place settings and no getting up without a reason. We were asked to stay silent as six kids can make a lot of noise, but we were also not allowed to read (not much room). Once married, my husband and I kept up a proper table with cloth napkins and placemats, every day. We also hosted a lot of dinner parties with the full regalia: crystal wine glasses, the best silver and china, bread and butter plates, etc. Loved it! Since my husband passed away, I still use a placemat and cloth napkin and eat all my meals seated at a properly set table. Though, I do admit, I now read a book or newspaper while eating!
Claire Robertson
Thoroughly enjoyed your musings today around setting the table. In the 1960s, we set the table, asked to be excused, and said grace. Societal expectations, I presume, as my parents were working class and atheists! Nowadays, my husband and I consistently set our lunch and dinner table. Why? It elevates the tabletop and generates conversation alongside the food. Plus, I enjoy ironing our cloth napkins every Monday morning. Some habits from long-ago just make people feel good.
James Harcott
You opened a Pandora’s box of memories – fine bone china, sterling silver, Waterford crystal, Damask linen tablecloth and napkins, and every item placed just so as we sat down to Friday night dinner. As for weeknights, you had to be at the dinner table. What you did after the 6-7 pm dinner hour was yours to plan. Everyone had a role – set the table, serve, help clean up. Were you divining my mother?
Today, my three sets of china, silver and crystal – both wedding registry and inherited – are neglected. And while my daughters are wistful when they see a beautifully set table, they know that when they eventually inherit Mother’s and Grandmother’s fine table settings, those “memories” will likely be relegated to a different buffet or a storage locker, sitting patiently to be brought out for that once-a-year occasion. Or not. Auction houses? Going, going, gone! It’s a very different world from that of Grandma Dear.
Rosalind Karby
I hadn’t thought about the idea of not setting a table for a meal because we have no other place to eat except the dining room, and when we go to friends’ houses, they always set the table. We have been to casual restaurants where the cutlery comes wrapped in a paper napkin, but nicer restaurants have set places. I do know that younger people do not want any china, glassware, or cutlery that cannot go in a dishwasher. That’s too bad, but understandable.
Nancy Carlman
Our three generations of blended family set the table for dinner every day. Place mats, plates, cutlery, glasses and napkins – paper! The table conversation is lively, subjects varied, current affairs mostly, recently politics, family, global warming. I, the grandma, believe it is very important to talk face to face, discuss, not argue about issues and beliefs. If it gets out of hand, someone says “enough of that”, we stop, and go back to enjoying our food! Yes, setting the table is important!
I. Bekken
We will be married for 34 years on November 21st. We have never once sat down for breakfast, lunch or dinner without setting the table first. Placements are always used along with cloth napkins for all meals. We made a vow on our wedding day to always use our best china daily, along with good cutlery and best glasses at the table. We also light candles every evening throughout the winter months at dinner time. We both retired recently and even in all our working years the above practice never changed no matter how tired we were after a day’s work. It has certainly kept the romance going in our marriage. Wouldn’t change it for the world.
June Quiroga
Do you still set a table? Absolutely. When and how? Dinner time: placemats, napkins, stainless cutlery (unless it’s a family birthday..then the grandparents sterling comes out). Gathering the family around a table at the end of the day to enjoy supper and conversation is a hugely important ritual. It doesn’t matter what is eaten, it matters that we are together and listen to each other’s stories about the day – positive and negative. It is a way of sharing support, companionship and a meal with one another. It is an opportunity to learn about your kids, their friends, your friends or whomever happens to need a bite to eat and a listening ear. I am writing this email from the 58 year old kitchen table in my parent’s home. This table has been the gathering place for our family of five through thick and thin. I don’t want to guess how many meals have been eaten here.
It is said that it takes a village to raise a child … I think it takes setting a table and sharing a meal.
Susan Kidd
Thanks for making me realize it’s not just me that feels out of step when I ask someone to set the table, only to be met by a blank stare. A set table is an invitation to everyone to treat the meal as a pleasant shared experience.
Jan Mansfield
Yes, I still set a table. During the weeknights in our breakfast nook, I have homemade place mats with matching hand painted napkin rings and cloth napkins. On weekends, I add candles. On holidays and birthdays, it’s the dining room. I pull out the Royal Dolton china, crystal and gold flatware. Always a centrepiece and candles and, of course, music. We love it and enjoy our meals together. It makes us feel special and a time to enjoy each other.
Arlene LaCroix
The last time I set a table was in 2016. There were 14 family members at the table.
I have a friend who often invites me to her home for dinner. Whether there is one guest or several she sets her table elegantly. There are cloth placemats and napkins and the china and silverware are in the right order. Floral arrangements and candles are colour coordinated according to the season. I enjoy the delicious home cooked meal and promise myself that one day I will set my table properly again.
Joan Ellis
Yes, we still set the table – placemats, cloth napkins and napkin rings – every night and daytime meals, too. Very old fashioned but I am old fashioned (and old), and it just seems right.
Carol Johnston
As retired seniors we have old school habits and mealtimes are part of our daily schedule. I set the dining room table for lunch and dinner with placemats, knapkins, utensils and dinnerware. For holidays dinners, I use ornamental table centrepieces and flowers, if available. On occasion I use china dinnerware from many decades ago when I collected the pieces, most received as gifts; they’re stored in an old fashioned cedar chest. Perhaps if we were the new generation with demanding careers our mealtimes might not be as important or receive the special attention.
Lillian Baer
Gotta say that this week’s column brought back memories. Yes, we had chores and mine at home in the 50s and 60s was setting the table. Loved your history of the phrase, “setting the table”..
I live by myself and my rule is I always have a proper setting. Nice china and a glass of wine with dinner. Might eat at various times but still make this a rule. I find it also centres me and calms me to sit and enjoy my dinner. Mindful eating, you might say.
Deni Loubert
At a small private school in England where I learned not only the 3Rs, but also to distinguish Hepplewhite from Chippendale furniture but also good manners and how to set a table.. “Manners Makyth Man” was a banner in the hall. Setting the table was my job at home, where stray elbows got my mother’s “all uncooked joints off the table!” Instead of “I’m full”, it was “thank you, I’ve had an elegant sufficiency. When we moved to the Yorkshire countryside, my mother invited a local child to my birthday party. Asked if she’d had enough to eat, the girl replied “Ee, me belly’s on t’table!”
Madeleine Lefebvre
I still love a nicely set table with the silver, good dishes etc. and a nice seasonal centrepiece, but I have to admit it is only done when we have family or company here for dinner. On most normal days, my husband and I usually set up the TV trays and watch the evening news … but then we are retired so it isn’t like we haven’t seen each other all day!
Mary Lynn Cassels
Married for 56 years and adopted my Scottish parents’ tradition of setting the table for dinner each night – a placemat, cotton or linen serviettes (napkins!) and a serviette ring so that we use them several times.
My son and his wife (also Scottish background) also set the table for dinner each night, same custom with placemats and serviettes, as us. I wonder if their 11 and eight year-old children, who often set the table, will keep it up. The only exception, for all of us, is “Friday Pizza Night”, the one time we all eat off our laps in our TV rooms.
Jean Lawrence
At 23, as a brand new bride, one of the wisest things I did was set our little card table, reach over and take my husband’s hand, bow my head, and say thank you we were together and give thanks for the food we were about to eat. I couldn’t know at the time but this set a happy daily habit still going on sixty years later, now with a bigger table, a candle or flowers, and kids and grandkids around the table, too.
Linda Zlotnik
When our grown up children are visiting us at home ,I always like to set the table with flowers and vintage plates and have an enjoyable family dinner . We always say Grace and cell phones are banned from the table! They tell us about their jobs and busy daily lives. We are often in fits of laughter too when they tell us about travel misadventures or various mishaps and it’s always such a treat to be all together, once again, as a family .
Alannah Anslow
Yes, I still set the table. When our children and grandchildren come over, or other company, it gives me great pleasure and joy to put a pretty tablecloth on the table. After that I place our good dishes at the places where they’ll be sitting, place the silver knives, forks, soup and dessert spoons at their proper places, and the crystal glasses in their proper places. The table looks very festive, and the atmosphere is filled with anticipation and joy as we pray and begin enjoying our meal!
Kathleen Talstra
I still love to set a nice table for company and I’m proud to say that, without ever me saying anything, my daughter in law does the same!! She is happiest when she has a lot of friends and family at her table and it’s always set with good china, candles and a centrepiece!
Caroline Duncan
When we downsized from our family home with a formal dining room to a condo, I had to make the decision to keep the sideboard or upright piano. As I could still envision hosting a family meal, I chose the sideboard and was able to keep my dishes, cutlery, and other pieces from the family. Whenever possible we had a no interruption and no cell phone evening meal. I still set a table for the evening meal. My adult children look forward to coming over for a family meal and are adept at setting a table. I use cloth napkins and have since purchased an electric keyboard.
Sharon Lee Mitchell
My family always used to sit down and have dinner together. My boys, born in 1981 and 1984, were responsible for setting and clearing the table by about age six or seven. We also had every Sunday dinner with my parents on a beautifully set table with the good china and cutlery. This went on until their later teens when it got less frequent then stopped I suppose due to their busier lives and independence. I really missed this small family custom but tried to instill in them the importance of it when they had their own children.
C. Zeitner
Yes, I still set a table and cook dinner every Sunday, every week and have been doing so for more than 15 years. The table is set for two grandparents (my husband and myself), our daughter and her husband, their five children (ages 15 and up), plus two partners. It’s crowded, it’s noisy, it’s a lot of dishes and a lot of food but we’re all together, face to face, sharing our week. Sometimes I’m tempted to say “grab a plate and eat wherever you want”, but it’s not the same. We miss family that can’t be there but someone usually has news from them to share. At 75 this is my love language for my family.
Carol Leukefeld
As I was growing up and then when our children were growing up, the table was regularly set for supper, and each child learned the proper arrangement. Eating with children at a set table provides the best opportunity to teach and encourage good manners. No waving forks about, no reaching in front of your neighbours, and no talking with your mouth full. As a kid, an elbow casually propped on the table would be quickly lifted and dropped with the reminder “uncooked joints off the table”. Good table manners, at any age, enhance impressions. Alone now, I still set my place for supper at the table – and enjoy setting a festive table for visiting family and friends.
Shelia Charneski
These days my husband and I are as guilty as many others of consuming our evening repast with feet up watching the gogglebox. Nevertheless, as a child of the sixties, and possessor of a 1972 edition of the “Joy of Cooking”, I learned how to set a table both at home and in Home Economics at school. While I don’t necessarily follow the finer points laid out on pages 9-17 of the aforementioned tome, I still enjoy using my “good” china and my “real” silverware when family and friends come for dinner. Long live tradition!
Nora Eldred
We would probably be considered old-fashioned, but we continue to have regular mealtimes, and always lay the table for dinner, including cloth napkins! We realize it’s much more challenging when you have children with all kinds of sporting activities that disrupt mealtimes, but still think it’s really important for family stability and communication to try for at least a few sit-down meals per week. (And while we’re on the topic, yes! Children should definitely sit down to eat as opposed to getting up and wandering about whenever they feel like it!) Not only do regular meals encourage vital interpersonal interactions, but they also assure better nutrition and digestion. It’s so much better to sit down and mindfully eat a proper meal as opposed to stuffing down a grab-and-go snack eaten on the run. Easier said than done, but so worthwhile.
Carlie Holland
I was raised in a family that didn’t have a lot of money but we were taught our manners. Old school some might say but it is never too late to learn. So few adults and off-spring have any clue these days. Each meal, I set a proper place setting using my finest silverware. My children were also raised with the knowledge of how to set a table and use of proper table manners. Impressions make a difference when invited to dine with prospective clients, employers and friends. It does get noticed.
Linda Green
Yes to dining room tables. When we retired to Nanaimo, one “must have” was dining room space sufficient for both leaves of our dining table. We have had numerous dinners involving 12 people being seated. We do have a kitchen table but it only seats four so is less often used if any of the family is over. When Covid hit, we dined outside at the patio table; we could squeeze in seven, but then would add a small table if we had more. And yes to cloth napkins; particularly on the patio – they don’t blow away like paper napkins do!
Linda Moore